Sometimes being Jackson's mom feels very much like what you see in this picture. I sit in the stands and watch as my son zips around the track, hollering directions at him that might help him take the lead. He can't hear me and wouldn't listen anyway. He just keeps driving-way to fast. I can barely focus on him, but can tell that he is pointing at me, which I assume is my queue to cheer him on. I wave my hands around a bit, but it's really just to warn him of the other cart driver that is about to pass him from behind or the wall that his about to run into or to motion to him to make sure his seatbelt is properly fastened. I'm sure if I could see his eyes through the shield on the helmet they would be rolling. But that's OK, because that's life and this is the race that we are living with our oldest. A race that I'm watching go by and all I can do is hope and pray that he stays on the track, trust that he will make wise decisions and have faith that God is ultimately the One holding onto the steering wheel. This year, on Jackson's 17th birthday, I am claiming the promise that He has a victory ahead for Jackson. I confess I'm scared to death to have a child only one year from adulthood. Well, if I'm being honest, I've been scared since the minute the nurses told Geof and I we could take him home from the hospital. I mean-what made so many well educated medical professionals decided we were ready to raise a child? There are days when I want to yell back in time and say, "I told you we would screw this up!" But then there are the days that I remember that love covers a multitude of sins. No matter how many mistakes we made, we have loved Jackson from the moment we knew we would have a child. He has grown into an amazing, talented young man in spite of us. He is such a blessing to me every day and I am so thankful for the opportunity to be his mom. Happy Seventeenth Birthday Jackson-keep running that race! God has great plans for you and I believe in you!
We went go-carting on Jackson's birthday. The kids loved it. I did not. It hurt my back when they would slam into me. I came in dead last, but Jackson won the last race. It was a fun day and I learned that all my children are little speed demons.